I stood at the finish line, waiting for my daughter to come flying through, covered in sweat and a dusty rainbow of colors. She was running a 5K in support of pediatric cancer, joyously pelted by volunteers with washable pastel paint. As I watched the various runners stumble home with victorious chants cascading through the …

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“You won’t believe the story I’m about to tell you!” Out to dinner with another couple, we listened rapt as our friend shared her news. “Our daughter’s good friend’s father is going to jail for tax fraud. I feel so bad for his wife and kids even though he’s guilty. We just found out last …

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“We’re hungry. Do we have any Ritz crackers?” “No Ritz. We have Wheat Thins, pretzels, cereal bars, popcorn, fruit… carrots. What would you like?” “How about smoothies? Or maybe you can take us for ice cream? And can Lisa stay for dinner?” “Can’t you eat something here? How about walnuts and dried cranberries? And Lisa …

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Last night, a deer hit me. Or should I say, I got in a deer’s way. As I left my regular Tuesday-night tennis game (where four aging men still believe Wimbledon is a possibility), I descended leisurely down the dark country road towards home. As I listened to the mellow sounds of Sirius XM, trying …

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A voice whispered in my ear at the Starbucks’ counter. “Wait until next week. You’ll be amazed how many houses go on the market.” “What are you talking about?” I was confused yet intrigued. “Last kid off to college. It’s either sell or split up, divorce or divest. Time to pack it up.” This observation …

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As we sat in a beautiful French restaurant enjoying a romantic lunch, my wife and I reflected on our lives. It was our 25th anniversary and though we had always planned for a two-week trip through Tuscany to mark this occasion, the restaurant would have to serve in its place. College, home repairs, mortgages… Tuscany, …

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As I waited for my daughter’s middle-school bell to ring, I sat listening somewhat attentively to my fifth conference call of the day. I suddenly realized I was on line, and on the line all at the same time. I chuckled to myself. Looking at the other suburban moms and dads in this daily processional, …

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There I stood in my best pressed pants, crisp dress shirt and color coordinated, clip-on tie. Waiting to pose for my 5th-grade picture. Standing with my classmates, we were all coiffed and coutured by our mothers for posterity. With the last picture taken, the photographer asked our teacher, Mrs. Goodstein to move forward for her …

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  “You still have a fever. You can’t go to the party.” “But daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad, daaaaaaaaaaaaaady, everyone will be there. It’s my first sleepover party. You’re so mean. I’m never talking to you again!” And so it goes. Back and forth between mom and dad, trying to drive a wedge between resolute (wife) and wavering (dad), …

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The Shameful Sheep

shit storms, shame, and stories that make you cringe

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Lost in Suburbia

based on the syndicated humor column by Tracy Beckerman

Snarky in the Suburbs

Middle aged, Uncool and Not Bringing Sexy Back