On the Road… Again. Tales of an Uber-Dad

When I first got my driver’s license many moons ago, I was ecstatic at the prospect of the open road. I could drive anywhere and everywhere I wanted (or as far as my gas money or my dad’s gas card would take me). Errands for my mom? No problem. Pick up five friends and stuff …

To Shawshank, with Love.

“You look exhausted. Everything okay?” “All good. Was up late last night. Didn’t get enough sleep.” “Lucky you. We were both out cold by 10.” “Not that. The game ended and I was about to turn off the TV when… you know… I flipped around, and it was on. Once it’s on, I have to …

The Butcher. The Baker. The Custom Cabinetmaker.

“Do you want to go over and see Elise and Rob’s new outdoor kitchen?” “What’s an outdoor kitchen?” “They built a full kitchen next to their patio. Top-of-the-line everything. So they can cook outside all summer long. And it has a built-in spit. They can roast a whole pig!” “Why would they want to do …

Talk of the Town

“You won’t believe the story I’m about to tell you!” Out to dinner with another couple, we listened rapt as our friend shared her news. “Our daughter’s good friend’s father is going to jail for tax fraud. I feel so bad for his wife and kids even though he’s guilty. We just found out last …

Help! Wanted for the Want Ads

Back in the days when print media ruled the suburban sprawl of America, The New York Times reigned supreme. From the crack of dawn, from one driveway to the next, you could find the newspaper waiting patiently for tasseled or slippered feet to arrive. Scooping the paper into their hands, subscribers would devour it from …

The Empty Nest at the End of the Suburban Road

A voice whispered in my ear at the Starbucks’ counter. “Wait until next week. You’ll be amazed how many houses go on the market.” “What are you talking about?” I was confused yet intrigued. “Last kid off to college. It’s either sell or split up, divorce or divest. Time to pack it up.” This observation …

Climb Every Mountain: Propositions and Pick-up Lines on the Suburban Party Circuit

As I walked across the room on a cool spring night, I looked at the action in progress. Scores of teenagers flew by me, clad in oversized sparkly glasses, hats and colorful socks. They sprinted from photo booths to the kid’s lounge, depositing their goods procured from hyped up, jacked-up DJ dancers hired to tantalize …

I Dreamed a Dream House

When I was a small boy, I let my imagination run wild, like most children, and thought of all the places I would go, all the things I could do. Fireman… Wimbledon… Jeopardy champion. But the thing I wanted most, desired more than anything, was owning a house in some leafy green suburb. Where the …

Knee Deep in Suburbia

  I am a dad, husband, son, mortgage holder, weed wacker, dishwasher loader, grill master, friend to my neighbors and no friend to any vermin or insect attacking my foundation. Occasionally, I get to watch the game but more often I am coaching where dribbling and passing are an art form. Instead of beers and …